Fuck Yeah Asexuality

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Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:54:43 -0400

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(Now in Alphabetical Order)

Addiction

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Hi. I have submitted a motion for asexual inclusion within the NUS LGBT Campaign; and the conference is this weekend. There will be an Asexual Caucus and I could do with help handing out leaflets/talking about the campaign at conference if anyone will be there. Could you publicise this for me? People can send me an ask for more details.

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 12:33:11 -0400

pansexualityisperfect: Just a quick drawn up picture to try and...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 22:43:49 -0400

pansexualityisperfect:

Just a quick drawn up picture to try and shed some light on sexualities according to the official definitions of sexualities.. (in no way am I suggesting it is right but this is what I got after 10 mins) any feedback/suggestions?

Lez Get Real

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:43:53 -0500

asexualeducation:

Asexual Community Upset With Portrayal In FOX’s “House M.D.”

Article here

I'm glad I got such a response!

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:04:05 -0500

I’ll be posting about the article later, but first I wanted to check that it wouldn’t BORE anyone to tears. I’ve been waiting for a book to come out, and I wanted to see what else the man has written to see if I would even like it or not. This is one of his research articles.

I’m really hoping the book is good, and that if it is, we should buy it to support further positive research into the area. He has a grant to study sexuality from the Canadian Government, but a lot of it has to do with birth order and homosexuality.

Toward a Conceptual Understanding of Asexuality

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:52:43 -0500

Abstract

Asexuality has been the subject of recent academic (A. F. Bogaert, 2004) and public (e.g., New Scientist; CNN) discourse. This has raised questions about the conceptualization and definition of asexuality. Here the author reviews some of these issues, discusses asexuality from a sexual orientation point of view (i.e., as a lack of sexual attraction), and reviews the similarities and differences between this definition and related phenomena (e.g., hypoactive sexual desire disorder). Finally, the author concludes that the term asexuality should not necessarily be used to describe a pathological or health-compromised state.

Would you guys be interested in hearing more about this research article?

Nobody Has a Responsibility to Come Out

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:59:17 -0500

Nobody Has a Responsibility to Come Out:

When I heard that the topic of the blog carnival hosted at Writing From Factor Xwould be about coming out, I was a little dismayed. I’ve likened National Coming Out Day to Valentine’s Day before, and I think with good reason. I’ve become so tired of hearing people harping on the importance of coming out, especially qualified, as it so often is in the asexual community, with some kind of statement like, “Of course, coming out for asexuals is easy, all we really have to deal with is people saying annoying things.” So, I don’t much like to talk about it.

That is demonstrably untrue, by the way. And if the only responses you’ve received when you came out were just a little bit annoying? You’re a lucky one. Not everyone has it so easy, and it’s a privilege to be surprised that they don’t.

Really though, I think that many of the responses that people categorize as “annoying” are actually instances of emotionally abusive statements that go unrecognized for what they are due to a “sticks and stones” tough attitude that many people have. Since abuse is often thought of as only physical, it’s often hard to recognize it when it happens, especially when society agrees with the sentiment. One single instance is relatively easy to brush off, but the cumulative effect of the majority of people claiming that “there must be something wrong with you” is not.

The other day, Rachel Maddow said this:

I’ve long held three basic beliefs about the ethics of coming out:

Gay people — generally speaking — have a responsibility to our own community and to future generations of gay people to come out, if and when we feel that we can.

We should all get to decide for ourselves the “if and when we feel that we can” part of that.

Closeted people should reasonably expect to be outed by other gay people if (and only if) they prey on the gay community in public, but are secretly gay themselves.

I also believe that coming out makes for a happier life, but that’s not a matter of ethics, that’s just corny advice.

Now, I’d agree on numbers two and three, but that’s it. Frankly, I think it’s very naive to assume that coming out would make everyone’s lives happier. Some people (and I wouldn’t say it’s impossible that any asexuals are among them, even if I’ve never heard of such a case to date) actually lose their lives after coming out, and I think it’s good to keep that in mind. I found Lena Chen’s response to Maddow’s statement particularly on-point. Much as I usually admire and appreciate the work that Maddow does, in this case I think she’s got too much privilege to see this clearly. I find it inconsistent to claim that queer people (of any stripe, including asexuals) “should all get to decide for ourselves” if/when to come out, while also claiming that we have aresponsibility to do so. Saying it’s a responsibility heaps a whole lot of pressure on people to come out, thus making number two ineffectual. If it’s really meant to be our own decision, shouldn’t it be as un-coerced as possible?

In practice, though, I do see a lot of coerced unclosetings happening throughout the queer community. Sometimes this is accomplished through persistent nagging and guilt-tripping. Sometimes people just tell others without their permission. Sometimes it’s a case of a significant other going, “I won’t let you tell your family I’m your friend.” That last case is the only time that I think this kind of behavior is marginally acceptable, because it does affect the significant other’s life too, but even then, it has to be handled delicately.

And you know what? I don’t see all that much of a difference between people saying that queer people have a responsibility to their community to come out, and people saying that married people have a responsibility to their spouses to have sex. Education of the privileged about the lives of the marginalized, like sex, should be a freely given gift. Turning it into a duty makes that gift meaningless.

The asexual community, being invisible and obscure, does need people who are willing to educate others, spread awareness of our existence. But you know what? There are enough people who freely volunteer to do that. We don’t needto make it a responsibility. So let’s try to avoid that mindset.

So I came out to my dad about being asexual at dinner tonight. He said...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:45:10 -0500

So I came out to my dad about being asexual at dinner tonight. He said...:

sisterbutters:

So I came out to my dad about being asexual at dinner tonight. He said he already herd from aunt who saw my facebook post (I really hated when my family talks behind my back).

He asked me some questions and I told that it wasn’t a choice, and that I would be like this for the rest of my life.

Over all it went very well, and he accepted me for who I am.

Now it’s time for the hard part. My mother.

Now it’s not like my mother isn’t accepting or dislikes people of different sexuality. She just doesn’t want any part in it, and wants it out of her life.

I’m afraid my mom won’t take me serious when I tell her, and that she’ll just pass it off as something I made up.

I ask my dad about if I should tell her or not, he thinks it would best it I didn’t unless the subject ever came up.

I kinda feel like this is something I should tell her, since it’s part of my lifestyle.

That’s why I want to ask you guys if you think this is something I should talk to my mom about or if I should just let it be. I would really love you input.

?

SUCCESS

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:10:05 -0500

asexualityexists:

Today in one of my classes, asexuality became the topic of discussion. Of course, it was because of the recent House episode, but the conversation went a direction I didn’t think it would.

After the existence of asexuality was questioned, I answered with a simple definition…and no one objected. No one said it was stupid or not human. No one denied its existence. No one said any of the typical ignorant responses.

It made me happy :D

"Let’s always love each other, and never be in love with each other."

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:04:05 -0500

“Let’s always love each other, and never be in love with each other.”

- David Levithan, Every You, Every Me (via asexyquotes)

Not only does this stand true for any of our genderqueer and...

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:42:00 -0500

Not only does this stand true for any of our genderqueer and transsexual friends, but I also hold this to be true for asexuals. The body does not need sex to live, no matter how much culture may tell us that sex is the ultimate glorification and worship of the body. That concept … it just seems flawed to me. There are other, completely nonsexual, ways to enjoy our bodies. Dancing, running, drawing, flexing, whatever it is you enjoy doing the most with your body is your way of celebrating it. And when it comes down to it…our body is only one part of ourselves.

Just about every culture recognizes that there is something more than the body. Some call it a soul, some call it the spirit, others the personality or mind. Sometimes this other is a dyad of the mind and of the spirit. Regardless, we, as humans, sometimes still take the body as being all that we are.

I feel that many asexuals seem forced to become divorced from their bodies, perhaps because our culture tells us that something must be wrong with our bodies. With us. And cognitively, we become used to thinking of our body, which according to society is a sexual thing, as something that is not us. But it shouldn’t be that way. It doesn’t have to be.

Our bodies do not define us. We define our bodies.

: GSM or LGBT?

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:13:06 -0500

: GSM or LGBT?:

bubbybobble:

fuckyeahsexeducation:

deadlegsonwheels:

GSM stands for Gender & Sexuality Minority

I prefer it to LGBT because GSM is more inclusive

Basically any gender or sexuality that isn’t considered heteronormative could go under GSM.As well as LGBT the following…

Sharing Time no. 3

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:23:00 -0500

So, you might have noticed I vanished for awhile. I apologize. I started my first year of graduate school and it was a lot more work than I was expecting. But I also want to apologize to everyone in another way.

Because I’ve let you down.

I’ve let myself down. In one of the first few weeks of the semester, we were talking about minorities, and we were asked to raise our hands if we have ever been part of a minority when growing up. That is, a minority in our local culture, so the lovely native american girl in our program grew up with her people, and the member of the Church of Latter Day Saints grew up in Utah with a strong community of his people.

I raised my hand, thinking of my sexuality. I wasn’t expecting them to call on me and ask. After a panicked moment, I cobbled together a response about growing up Catholic in a Protestant community (which is true, and I was made fun of a lot for it as a child, even though I am no longer Catholic).

And I felt deeply ashamed.

That I could not admit to my own collegues, to the people I would be spending the next few years with, that I was asexual. I knew that the person who had asked the question in the first place, the T.A., would understand. She’s known to be somewhat of ‘a liberal’, which is funny because she’s an anarchist, who helps raise awareness for LGBTQ on campus. But I didn’t want to have to explain myself. Because I know they’d look at me differently.

Over the course of the semester, they figured out that I don’t date and am not interested in boys or girls, I came out and said that much. But I’d still failed. And I started questioning my competency to run this blog. How could I support others coming out, to raise awareness and answer questions when I didn’t hold myself to the same standard?

Because I’m human. There is no such thing as a paragon of asexuality, no matter how much I tried to hold myself to this non-existent perfection. I’m as human as anyone who wants to follow this blog, and I figure that I’m not the only person who has failed to disclose who they are at times.

So I’m back. I hope this is a better year (in both the Western and Chinese calendars)!

//TODO: Provide Title.: Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:04:05 -0500

//TODO: Provide Title.: Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality:

redbeardace:

Tonight’s episode of House featured an asexual couple (well, until the last 10 minutes…). I would like to take this opportunity to say that asexuality is real, it’s not just some invention by the writers. There are those of us who simply don’t find other people sexually attractive. We’re not…

I'm kind of surprised how surprised/offended Aces are getting at Moffatt saying that asexuality is boring. It IS boring--for a writer. It completely eliminates a huge variety of plots and different character relationships, and average audience members find it confusing and difficult to relate to. Why did you THINK we were so rarely seen on television? A conspiracy?

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:22:15 -0500

aceofholmes:

I see what you’re saying, but I also completely disagree. AND I HAVE REASONS.

Read More

Attempted Danger: Re: Moffat and the Fans Who Agree Asexuality is Boring in Fiction

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:32:46 -0500

Attempted Danger: Re: Moffat and the Fans Who Agree Asexuality is Boring in Fiction:

outlawroad:

I feel like I can actually back up my defense of asexual characters because not only am I a celibate asexual, I’m a writer who writes asexual characters. Even before I started doing that, I was writing nonsexual relationships only.

Moffat, I understand that you are a middle-aged heterosexual man…

Another Statement from Kath Lingenfelter

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:57:51 -0500

I appreciate your frustration. I can only say to you that through my research (Which included long visits to http://asexuality.org), I have my eyes opened to your community & if I did you a disservice here, I will try again in the future because I think your community is one that is growing and says a lot about what it is to be human today (tho historically there have been aces a plenty). Again, I’m sorry to do your community I disservice. I wanted to get a dialog going w/the public about asexuality but there are many masters to please in TV. I am open to any and all comments, suggestions, critiques. (This does remind me a a frustration for a writer for the CW who vented that they could never cast African American characters as criminals because the network was too afraid of offending them. Not a direct corollary, but perhaps speaks to the day when ppl respect asexuality as an orientation enough that we can do a story with the medical condition and it won’t discredit it all).

-Kath Lingenfelter, writer of the House episode ‘Better Half’, via Twitter DM

Diary of an Asexual: It's just a phase

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:10:06 -0500

Diary of an Asexual: It's just a phase:

diaryofanasexual:

When I meet someone, they nearly always ask, ”so, what do you do? are you at uni or..?”

A few questions later, they ask, ”so, do you have a boyfriend?” with a cheeky grin.

Inside my head, I always think: firstly, why boyfriend? Why don’t you just say partner? Then I answer.

“Nope, no…

The Ace Crusader: Regarding the Moffat situation, or Is Romance Dead? and Sherlock analysis, because this is Tumblr after all

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:04:06 -0500

The Ace Crusader: Regarding the Moffat situation, or Is Romance Dead? and Sherlock analysis, because this is Tumblr after all:

theacecrusader:

It’s taken a couple of days to get my thoughts in order on this and trying to come at it from an angle that hasn’t been covered eloquently six-ways-to-sunday already. And the title is facetious, don’t take it too seriously.

I’m not going to address this too much from a writer’s stance because…

"I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and..."

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:06:12 -0500

“I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.”

- House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine (“Better Half”), in a Twitter response to AVEN user cleuchtturm. (via lunasspecto)