Fuck Yeah Asexuality

Ironic title is ironic.

The is a blog representing asexuality as a valid lifestyle. Please feel free to submit your stories, or suggest content.
Not only does this stand true for any of our genderqueer and transsexual friends, but I also hold this to be true for asexuals. The body does not need sex to live, no matter how much culture may tell us that sex is the ultimate glorification and worship of the body. That concept … it just seems flawed to me. There are other, completely nonsexual, ways to enjoy our bodies. Dancing, running, drawing, flexing, whatever it is you enjoy doing the most with your body is your way of celebrating it. And when it comes down to it…our body is only one part of ourselves. Just about every culture recognizes that there is something more than the body. Some call it a soul, some call it the spirit, others the personality or mind. Sometimes this other is a dyad of the mind and of the spirit. Regardless, we, as humans, sometimes still take the body as being all that we are. I feel that many asexuals seem forced to become divorced from their bodies, perhaps because our culture tells us that something must be wrong with our bodies. With us. And cognitively, we become used to thinking of our body, which according to society is a sexual thing, as something that is not us. But it shouldn’t be that way. It doesn’t have to be.  Our bodies do not define us. We define our bodies. 

Not only does this stand true for any of our genderqueer and transsexual friends, but I also hold this to be true for asexuals. The body does not need sex to live, no matter how much culture may tell us that sex is the ultimate glorification and worship of the body. That concept … it just seems flawed to me. There are other, completely nonsexual, ways to enjoy our bodies. Dancing, running, drawing, flexing, whatever it is you enjoy doing the most with your body is your way of celebrating it. And when it comes down to it…our body is only one part of ourselves.

Just about every culture recognizes that there is something more than the body. Some call it a soul, some call it the spirit, others the personality or mind. Sometimes this other is a dyad of the mind and of the spirit. Regardless, we, as humans, sometimes still take the body as being all that we are.

I feel that many asexuals seem forced to become divorced from their bodies, perhaps because our culture tells us that something must be wrong with our bodies. With us. And cognitively, we become used to thinking of our body, which according to society is a sexual thing, as something that is not us. But it shouldn’t be that way. It doesn’t have to be. 

Our bodies do not define us. We define our bodies. 

(via thren)

Sharing Time no. 3

So, you might have noticed I vanished for awhile. I apologize. I started my first year of graduate school and it was a lot more work than I was expecting. But I also want to apologize to everyone in another way. 

Because I’ve let you down.

I’ve let myself down. In one of the first few weeks of the semester, we were talking about minorities, and we were asked to raise our hands if we have ever been part of a minority when growing up. That is, a minority in our local culture, so the lovely native american girl in our program grew up with her people, and the member of the Church of Latter Day Saints grew up in Utah with a strong community of his people.

I raised my hand, thinking of my sexuality. I wasn’t expecting them to call on me and ask. After a panicked moment, I cobbled together a response about growing up Catholic in a Protestant community (which is true, and I was made fun of a lot for it as a child, even though I am no longer Catholic).

And I felt deeply ashamed. 

That I could not admit to my own collegues, to the people I would be spending the next few years with, that I was asexual. I knew that the person who had asked the question in the first place, the T.A., would understand. She’s known to be somewhat of ‘a liberal’, which is funny because she’s an anarchist, who helps raise awareness for LGBTQ on campus. But I didn’t want to have to explain myself. Because I know they’d look at me differently. 

Over the course of the semester, they figured out that I don’t date and am not interested in boys or girls, I came out and said that much. But I’d still failed. And I started questioning my competency to run this blog. How could I support others coming out, to raise awareness and answer questions when I didn’t hold myself to the same standard? 

Because I’m human. There is no such thing as a paragon of asexuality, no matter how much I tried to hold myself to this non-existent perfection. I’m as human as anyone who wants to follow this blog, and I figure that I’m not the only person who has failed to disclose who they are at times.

So I’m back. I hope this is a better year (in both the Western and Chinese calendars)!

//TODO: Provide Title.: Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality

redbeardace:

Tonight’s episode of House featured an asexual couple (well, until the last 10 minutes…). I would like to take this opportunity to say that asexuality is real, it’s not just some invention by the writers. There are those of us who simply don’t find other people sexually attractive. We’re not…

I’m kind of surprised how surprised/offended Aces are getting at Moffatt saying that asexuality is boring. It IS boring—for a writer. It completely eliminates a huge variety of plots and different character relationships, and average audience members find it confusing and difficult to relate to. Why did you THINK we were so rarely seen on television? A conspiracy?

aceofholmes:

I see what you’re saying, but I also completely disagree. AND I HAVE REASONS.

Read More

(Source: devilsmadvocate)

Another Statement from Kath Lingenfelter

I appreciate your frustration. I can only say to you that through my research (Which included long visits to http://asexuality.org), I have my eyes opened to your community & if I did you a disservice here, I will try again in the future because I think your community is one that is growing and says a lot about what it is to be human today (tho historically there have been aces a plenty). Again, I’m sorry to do your community I disservice. I wanted to get a dialog going w/the public about asexuality but there are many masters to please in TV. I am open to any and all comments, suggestions, critiques. (This does remind me a a frustration for a writer for the CW who vented that they could never cast African American characters as criminals because the network was too afraid of offending them. Not a direct corollary, but perhaps speaks to the day when ppl respect asexuality as an orientation enough that we can do a story with the medical condition and it won’t discredit it all).

-Kath Lingenfelter, writer of the House episode ‘Better Half’, via Twitter DM

Diary of an Asexual: It's just a phase

diaryofanasexual:

When I meet someone, they nearly always ask, ”so, what do you do? are you at uni or..?”

A few questions later, they ask, ”so, do you have a boyfriend?” with a cheeky grin.

Inside my head, I always think: firstly, why boyfriend? Why don’t you just say partner? Then I answer.

“Nope, no…

(Source: )

I did a lot of research on asexuality for the episode. My original intent was to introduce it and legitimize it, because I was struck by the response most of you experience, which is similar to the prejudice the homosexual community has received. People hear you’re asexual and they immediately think, ‘What’s wrong with you, how do I fix you?’ I wanted to write against that. Unfortunately, we are a medical mystery show. Time & again, my notes came back that House needed to solve a mystery and not be wrong. So in THIS CASE, with THESE patients, it was a tumor near the pituitary. But I hoped I could (now it seems unsuccessfully) introduce asexuality to the general public and get them asking questions. All they need to do is one google search and they can see for themselves it’s a real community of great people. Originally, part of my dialog included thoughts about whether as a species we’ve grown past sex. Any time we tackle a subject, we risk the possibility of not doing it justice. I apologize that you feel I did you a disservice. It was not my intent. Asexuality is a new topic for me and definitely one I find fascinating. It is a subject I would like to continue to explore here or on future shows I write for. I think it speaks to where humans are now and where we are going. I will do my best in the future to do it justice.

—House writer Kath Lingenfelter on writing the eighth episode of season nine (“Better Half”), in a Twitter response to AVEN user cleuchtturm. (via lunasspecto)

(via lunasspecto)